Episode 12

Austin: The Delusional Time Capsule

Its Saturday morning, a Day after our first show in Dallas. Wow, what an experience. This city is great. I think, somehow, because we're from Austin, we assume that there can be no hipper place. Well - there's something to be said about a different kind of hip. Eden Automatic (the band that got us the gig) were cool and the POE posse was amazingly helpful (Hi Inge, Harry, Sahir, Kaushal, Nada, Rich and everyone else!!).

Which leads me to think that its not really the place, but the people that make a place happen. Laura, Abhinit and I are recent graduates of UT and each of us, at different times in our lives decided that we are going to partake in this great journey POE has to offer, which could hopefully last a lifetime. When we graduated so did most of our friends and unlike following career paths similar to ours, they left Austin to find jobs in other cities. Much to our dismay, Austin ended up being quite different without them.

While in Dallas, we stayed with Kaushal, Sahir and Badal - old friends of mine from UT. If there's any group of people who know how to have a good time - its this one.

Usually POE is quite an atypical band when it comes to after-show festivities. Its either sleep, read or sleep. Very rarely does anyone have the energy to go out and party. Well - with Kaushal and Sahir - there was no option.

They took us to "Al-Amir", a middle eastern club that was very different from anything I had every seen in Austin. It was a dance club, restaurant, hooka bar and lounge all rolled into one, equipped with the best belly dancers I had seen on this side of the Atlantic.

Within a few moments of being there, I was back in the Austin I once knew. A couple of other friends from UT had joined us and I was transported to West Campus chilling with our Shiners, talking about the 'weed-out' class someone was taking or the upcoming show our organization was involved in.

These times are important. Especially for someone whose profession it is to absorb from life's experiences and then compose music from reflections, digestions and impressions of those experiences.

After a beer or two, conversation drifted to the "where are they now?" category.

Reema and Amit are married and live in a house together. Finoy has a son. Anu and Nishant can't travel much because of their kid. blah blah blah. Children, wives, husbands, dogs, cats, houses, mortgages etc.

The one thing that I realized through all of this is that Austin serves as a delusional time capsule for me. I'm still a graduate from UT, pursuing a musical career, oblivious to the leaps my friends have made in the field of family growth and conjugality (among other things of course).

I can see it now - "Hey children, do you want to go see uncle Anuj in Austin? He has a show on Sixth. You can bring all your friends! I'm sure he will love to see you!" And there I would be - playing my heart out on a 12 bar song with my 6 string guitar for 4 children, each one of them fascinated by the hows and whys that go into choosing to be an artist. Maybe one of them has it in them to be one. Or has no choice but to be one.

And I mean that with all due respect. I mean - I don't think I really have a choice. Don't get me wrong! I'm growing as an artist and person as well (or at least I'd like to believe it. :) ) -- but its not like I chose to be an artist like I would choose to go to college or to watch a movie.

Being an artist is something that's in you. It's something that just doesn't leave you no matter what you do. And if you aren't feeding the artist in you, it will haunt you every day. An artist lives for those rare moments in life when the stars and planets align. When you know that this is what you were put on this earth to do.

Ok, enough of the cliches.

Quite frankly, I know that these visions I have of still playing in a small pub in Austin 20 years from now is the product of that little demon on my left shoulder (or is it my right shoulder?) telling me that things are bleak and reminding me of the music industry's egregiousness and lopsided statistics illustrating the uphill battle ahead of me.

But back to those moments I was talking about. They are rare. But they do happen. And I live for them. When we're on stage and things are exceptional - Laura's voices touches my heart deeper than anything before it, Abhinit and Will's strokes bring me to tears and every note Pat plays strikes a chord in my soul that gives me more strength than any motivational speech, logical reasoning or confidence building chemical can ever provide. Now that's powerful.

Just one moment like that can take away any previous doubt I could have about being an artist and doing what I do.

Sometimes I can't help but think though, especially during these formative times, is success really out there? Will our music be listened to? Or will it fall on deaf ears? Those intricate aspects of our songs we slave over. Those structural idiosyncrasies we're so proud of. Those words Laura jotted on a sheet of paper that expose more of her that she would ever choose to admit.

But the more we play, the more chances of that moment recurring and the less doubt I have.

- Anuj